Entrenched in the Battle

Lately I've been feeling like we are in the midst of a battle with our kids. They whine, they complain, they cry, they miss each other all day and then fight the entire time they are together, they are unhappy, discontent, unsatisfied, selfish, uncaring, and sometimes downright mean.

Now I debated writing this post because I don't want people to know that about my kids. I want people to believe I have great kids, happy kids, well-behaved kids, considerate kids. (And by the way, they are!...sometimes) I want to be congratulated on my parenting skills by looks of affirmation from strangers as they observe my kids at the park or the grocery store. I mean, am I alone in noticing when someone else's kid is throwing a fit when mine is being a model citizen? I definitely notice when that person's kid is extremely polite and mine is being a rebellious little booger. We may not intentionally compare, but don't we all notice? And don't we feel compassion for the poor mom trying to wrangle her little booger out of the public eye?

As moms we all work so hard to raise our kids to be kind, considerate, loving individuals. Sometimes it feels like we are fighting a losing battle. This morning at "Knit Together" (the knitting group that meets at my home) we listened to Dr. David Jeremiah speak on spiritual warfare. I was reminded that the battle with my kids is not simply a battle of "I'm right" and "they're wrong." It is not simply a battle against flesh and blood (and pigheaded stubborness!). It is also a spiritual battle. Its a battle against a sin nature that is powerful and untamed.

I'm always looking for something to adjust, to change...a new method, schedule, or strategy that will help my kids learn self-control, compassion, and obedience. I'm constantly asking other moms what they do, and asking my parents for their opinions on how I can do my job better. But here is what I was reminded of this morning: some battles can't be won by adjusting a schedule, or committing to a new discipline. Some battles can't be won at all by myself.

Dr. Jeremiah reminded me that if you are a Christian, you are in battle. Period. If you are not living as a soldier, than you are standing on the sidelines...but that doesn't mean that the battle isn't raging on without you.

My kids are a part of this battle. If, as their mom, I am simply trying to control their external behavior and I am ignoring the spiritual fight that is occurring every minute of their lives, than I am standing on the sidelines and allowing them to go into battle alone. I am realizing...more and more so when my kids wake up grouchy and ornery...that this spiritual battle is so much more intense than the outward battle we fight every day.

So when I say, "Good morning Brady!" And he replies with a grumbled, "Morning. Where is my breakfast? Can I play the Wii? Do I have to go to school today? Ohhhhhhh! (thats the whiny ohhhh I'm sure you recognize)" I am going to try to remember that there is sometimes more to fight against than not getting enough sleep, or low blood sugar. And I'm going to do my best to put on the full Armor of God before I go into battle for the day.

Ephesians 6:10-12, 18
(10) Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. (11) Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. (12) For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
(18) And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

How does this change what I'm doing every day? Well, I'm still going to do what I've been doing...teaching, training, correcting...emphasizing "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right!" ...but I'm going to add to it much more prayer and awareness for the spiritual battle my kids face, realizing that choosing what is right comes only after winning a battle against our sin nature. I'm going to realize that only with God's help, no-more than that-I'm going to actively enlist God's help, and not simply rely on my wonderful parenting (ha!), so that they can master that sin nature and become all that God intends them to be.