It matters

This morning I was making Brady's lunch. I got out a small water bottle...the only one that fits in his lunch box...and started to put some Gatorade in it as a treat for him. I showed it to him because I wanted to make sure he liked the kind I was giving him. His eyes lit up for a second and he said, "yeah!" Then he kinda hung around for a minute, and finally, tentatively, said, "Well, Mom, how come some kids make fun of me when I have that water bottle?" I stopped what I was doing, looked at him, and asked him what they say. He replied, "Well, they say its a baby bottle." I told him I was sorry and he said, "Yeah, it makes me sad."

Needless to say I quickly found something else to put the Gatorade in and told him I won't ever give him that water bottle for school again. My heart was breaking. Our conversation continued in the car when I told him that sometimes people just make fun of other people for no good reason. He responded with, "Yeah. Some kids do, but I don't." I reiterated that we always need to say kind words to people even when they don't. His voice was still sad, but he agreed with me. At the bus stop I gave him an extra hug, looked him in the eye, and made him promise that he would always tell me if people made fun of him or made him sad. And I sent him on his way.

I'm sure some of you are saying, "Wow, what is the big deal?" Well, let me give you some context. My heart is heavy and nearly breaking for a local family whose daughter took her own life last week. I attended the funeral yesterday. By all appearances she was a beautiful, smart, funny, well-liked girl. Somehow, somewhere along the path of life she took a turn that ended her life in a tragic way. I'm sure her parents never dreamed they would be attending her funeral yesterday when they gazed into the eyes of a little 5-year-old years ago. And so, as I came home last night I held my kids a little longer, hugged them a little tighter, listened to them a little longer, prayed for them a little more.

This past Sunday was "Sanctity of Life" Sunday. As we celebrated life, and then moved to support this family last night, I was reminded of how precious EACH life is...no matter how small, whether in the womb or old and frail, whether handicapped or healthy, whether weak or strong, whether 5-years-old or 14 or 45 or 80. What we say matters. What we do matters. Each person we see, speak to, pray for, ignore, brush off, laugh at, we impact. The truth is that God gives value to life. He gives us worth, and its by His standards and not ours. He loves each of us unconditionally. He forgives each of us our debt if we simply ask. There is NO sin that He didn't die for. I saw a multitude of hurting people last night, young and old alike. And in the midst of immense grief, I saw a mom raise her hands in worship. The world needs Jesus. We need Jesus. Jesus Saves. I hope this encourages all of us to reach out to someone. Love, Kindness, Respect.

Brady stuff

This morning I took Brady on a donut date while Andy kept Luke and Jolee at home. The date was Brady's reward for doing the right thing even when no one was watching.

Yesterday I packed Brady a cold lunch...and when I took him to the bus stop I told him that I had put a treat in his lunch, but that he should not eat the treat until he ate the rest of his lunch. When I picked him up after lunch the treat was still in his lunch box along with a few raisins. He finished off the raisins and asked if he could then have his treat. I made a big deal about him saving them and obeying even when I wasn't there to see. He said, "Well, I thought to myself, I could just eat these first and mommy wouldn't know, but I didn't do it." :) :) :) So, he earned a donut date before school. The date was lots of fun as just the two of us sat and talked and laughed. He picked a turnover and as he started to eat it he said, "But mom, I need to eat some real food too, not just this." This made me laugh...he is my healthy eater. So we ordered some eggs to go with our sugary breakfast :)

The other day Brady came home from school and told me he really wanted to make a card and give a present to a girl in his class. My eyebrows raised and I was immediately on the defensive...so I quizzed him about why he wanted to do this, and we talked about how we do not have girlfriends, just friends...
He was pretty much irritated with me...."Come on mom, I know that. There are no boyfriends or girlfriends in kindergarten. Just friends."
And then he started to tell me how at school they had to tell everyone what their favorite thing was that they got for Christmas. Well, apparently he was convinced that this particular girl did not get very much for Christmas and he really wanted to give her a present. I was still skeptical, but his motives seemed very innocent and kind, so I went with it. He proceeded to make a card for her, and then searched the house for something a girl would like. He came up empty. He was frustrated that we only had toys that boys would like. :) So I came up with the idea of making a yarn doll and we worked on it together. The next day he gave it to her. I asked him how it went and he was so excited as he related the story. I could tell it made him feel really good and we talked about how good it feels to do something for someone...and how it makes them feel good too. I was so proud of him, and thankful for his sweet sensitive spirit...and just a bit on edge for when he does want to have a girlfriend!

Cleaning up...

This morning I cleaned the bathroom like I have never cleaned it before. Oh I do clean the bathroom. But it just seems that with 2 young boys, it never smells clean. Anyone out there know what I'm talking about? Some days I think they miss and dribble and spray just to annoy me. As I was cleaning I was reminded of something...that there will be a day when those boys will no longer be around to miss and dribble and spray. And while I may praise God for a cleaner bathroom, and the absence of stale urine stench, I will also miss those little guys.

And so, I guess the lesson I was telling myself is this, "Casey, be content with the stage of life you are in." I needed a reminder this morning to be thankful for each stage of life. Each part of life has meaning and purpose and is useful in our spiritual walk with the Lord. Each part of life can be cherished in some way, and can be used for learning and growing and changing. Some day those little footsteps won't be heard in my house. Some day those whiny voices will be replaced with silence. Some day the snow will start to melt and spring will be on its way. Some day I will master my frustration and replace it with patience. Some day our aches and pains will be gone. Some day our tears will be wiped away. Some day our Lord will come back. Some day!

And after all, who, on that day...when asked what we did with our life wants to say, "Well, I piddled away my days, pining away for what was next. I was always wishing for something new, something different, something better." I believe Jesus can give us contentment and pure joy in each day we live. If I stay focused on Christ and open to what He wants to teach me, lessons can be learned each and every day. And so, I'm choosing to say this morning, "Thank you, Jesus, for that pee that missed the toilet!"

Christmas and more...

This Christmas stuff is exhausting!

Hmmmm, Brady is grumpy, Jolee squirmy, and yes, Luke is falling asleep!

Paugh cousins

Grandpa's glasses

These roses smell awesome!

Santa suits!

Totally unaware of Santa delivering the presents!

Thanks Mister Mark! I love my monkey :)

Lets see...how does this work?

Cousins! Oh they might be trouble later on!

Well...not a great pic...but they are all there. As you can see, Leila was moving :)

Miss you guys!

You know, I had a great blog written in my head when I was taking a shower...but between then and now I had to feed Jolee, give her medicine, snag a cookie on my way through the kitchen, get the boys dressed, change Jolee's diaper, get the boys breakfast, snag a chocolate on my way through the kitchen, start some laundry, clean up a milk spill, wipe a bottom, fold some laundry, put the dishes away, put more dishes in the dishwasher, change another diaper...oops, leaked through so make that a change of clothes also, realized I never ate breakfast and it is lunchtime...oh well, snag another cookie (well, come on, those are the only things out on the counter so that is what I grab!) sweep the floor of crumbs so Jolee doesn't eat them, break up a fight or two...well, you get the idea. Here is what is left...

We spent Christmas in Ohio this year...and it was a good one. The boys are at a very fun age right now...their excitement permeated the house. We followed tradition and they slept in their Santa suits under the tree on Christmas Eve. Actually, Brady had his on all day because he was so excited! They slept soundly, so Andy and I were able to sneak all of "Santa's" gifts out without them knowing. They woke up surrounded by presents :) Brady was thrilled with all of the things in his stocking...everything he pulled out received a "this is awesome!" or "wow, I love it!" ...even the chap stick and toothbrush! When Luke opened his stocking, he kept saying over and over, "This is mine? This is all mine? Wow, this is all mine!"

The boys had a great time playing with Grandpa during our visit. Poor Grandpa had to work a lot and he was very tired. Luke would wake up in the morning and say, "Where is Grandpa?" To which I replied, "Grandpa is at work." Luke would respond, "Oh. Well when he comes home he is just going to go to sleep again!" He was pretty sure that Grandpa should not have to work so much. And sure enough, when Grandpa came home Luke would say, "Okay, now go to sleep!"

The boys played nonstop with their cousins and had a great time. Everyone was trying their best to adjust to the absence of Diane, and many things were difficult to get through, but it was wonderful to be together.

We were even able to visit with Court, Jed, and the kids! They were having Christmas with Jed's family not too far away, so we went to visit with them. It was awesome to get together, see the kids, and hang out. We went swimming, played ping pong, and shot baskets. Of course that little visit was way too short, but we were thankful for the opportunity.

And I just have to thank Andy for one of the best Christmas presents ever. I usually don't shop for myself...its way more fun to buy for the kids, and that is usually how I satisfy my shopping craving...although it doesn't happen too often. Well, Andy gave me cash...which he meticulously folded into roses and put into a vase! Then he watched the kids while I took my pocketful of cash out to the after-Christmas sales and scored big time! I spent it all on clothes and shoes for myself without feeling guilty! It was sooooo much fun. I'm wearing new clothes today...not because I'm going out, or because anyone is coming over...just because I'm still enjoying this present!